When I think of social media such as Instagram, I think mostly of positivity. I always see many happy and beautiful images or videos. How can something that seems so positive be so unhealthy? There is a surprising amount of negativity in social media which is often overlooked. I think it is important to talk about negativity because it is often ignored or not taken as seriously as it should be. I believe the following subjects heavily influence our “social media society”: social validation, replacement mentality, toxic positivity, inappropriate content exposure, and addiction. Social media influences each other in negative social and mental ways but also our relationship with ourself. However, with all problems there are solutions. Many solutions could be implemented to create a healthier social media environment which will be mentioned at the end.

Social Validation

Depending on social media for external reassurance and acceptance by society has become a problem for many active online users. Getting likes and comments can be a quick fix to making people feel better about themselves. However, it doesn’t solve the root problem and more will be needed because it comes from others rather than themself. This is something I think we have all experienced at some point when using social media.

There is also a risk of not receiving likes/comments or receiving negative comments/dislikes which can lead people to feel even worse. Before posting on social media it is helpful to ask yourself why you are posting this. For example, if you don’t receive a certain number of likes or likes from certain people will you be upset? Recognizing the motivations, behaviors, and consequences of social media validation in our lives will help us understand our relationship with it better and monitor our mental health.

Just because something or someone has a lot of likes or followers does not equate to genuine friendship and can portray a false sense of community. If we only have social connections online, our reality can be somewhat fabricated. Let’s imagine, one day all social media platforms suddenly vanish… What would you be left with? How would you feel? Would you have something to fall back on that you could depend on emotionally? I think it is easy for us to get wrapped up into social media and forget that it isn’t our true reality. It also might not be as important as we thought.

Toxic Positivity

If you were unaware, like me, toxic positivity is when sharing/displaying positive personal experiences (through posts/comments) becomes toxic due to the suppression of negative aspects of reality. It may seem like having a large amount of positivity is beneficial but the truth is it can be toxic if it doesn’t include negatives. There is pressure from social media to portray a happy life even if it is not true. This is a problem when we are not accepting negative feelings and it can lead to mental health issues. It is common to feel sad, anxious, or angry yet it is not commonly accepted on social media. Pretending that you are always happy and dismissing other emotions (from yourself or others) teaches unhealthy coping mechanisms and can discourage an individual from seeking support or treatment. Now, I’m not saying people should start posting sad content. Rather it is important to know that social media is a place that favours positive content and it is not reality. It is important to have people in your life who accept you as you are when you express different emotions and who can validate them.

Inappropriate Content Exposure

Social media often can contain inappropriate content exposure such as unwanted exchanges such as bullying, sexualization, violence, and scams. In many cases, it can have lasting negative effects. Restricting this content is important for those who are young but it is also risky for anyone to experience. It can be desensitizing and we may not even realize that it is the root cause of a lot of mental health problems. Having awareness about issues is great but we have to remember that the motive of content can come from users who want views/likes/comments/money.

I think everyone who has used social media is aware of just how much of an online presence influencers and commercial advertisements take up. We may even notice advertisements on our social media feeds that are targeted to us based on our personal search history and interests. Some content exposure we may not even realize is hurting us. Since we can be automatically targeted, I believe our risk level increases for exposure to inappropriate content. I consider commercial advertisements and influencer content to often contain inappropriate content because it usually influences people to purchase something they probably don’t need. This can be inappropriate because it can cause a great deal of issues for people financially and also emotionally. Emotionally a lot of people on social media may turn to it to make themself feel better. If they don’t get that feeling from it they may try to buy it. If they cannot buy it but see that so many others have it and are happy it can be an unhealthy situation that can be difficult to handle when it is almost everywhere you look on social platforms.

Replacement Mentality

On social media, it is easy to connect with people. The not-so-great aspect of this is that people can become easily replaceable. This is a bad thing because it does not help us resolve conflicts, accept flaws, and many other social skills. If these skills are not learned or are avoided, we are not able to have healthy long-lasting friendships and relationships. Long-term relationships are important for us to have for many reasons: learning and skill development, unconditional love, and a sense of security/belonging/comfort etc. In some communities, and when the internet didn’t exist, you had no choice but to make things work with the community around you. There was no option to search a vast database of friends, romantic partners, or communities to connect with. You simply had to adapt and develop the necessary skills.

Addiction

It is no surprise that people can easily become obsessed with social media, maybe without even realizing it. It can feel addictive because it can cause a release of dopamine (also known as a pleasure hormone) which we can easily crave more of. This is a problem because it can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, social isolation, poor sleep quality, and body image dissatisfaction. Although social media addiction may not seem that serious, for some people it has cost their life. We have to remember that social media can be used excessively and has been a place many have used to post suicide content or directly cause it.

What are the warning signs of social media addiction?
– Relying on it as your main source for increasing self-esteem.

– Using social media to avoid negative feelings.

– Your ability to enjoy something depends on your ability to post about it.

– The urge to check your social media accounts constantly.

– Negative impacts on your physical or mental health.

– Replacing hobbies with social media.

– Having more of your time spent online than offline (reduced real-world social interaction).

– Trying to cut back, or stop, using social media and not being able to.

– FOMO (fear of missing out) fear that other people are having positive experiences that they are not a part of.

– Nomophobia (anxiety if your phone is not around you).

Solutions

I think the best solution to avoiding the negative consequences of social media is to not use it completely. I enjoy my time off it, it makes me feel more relaxed. However, giving up social media completely is not realistic for many of us. Even taking a social media break when you feel overwhelmed (and recognizing when this happens) can help many people feel balanced and in control of their mental health.

Other ways to create a healthier social media society for yourself:

– Make use of blocking, unfollowing, restricting, or mute options on social media platforms.

– Follow accounts that are beneficial for you.

– Balance your time spent online vs. offline.

– Journalling and therapy.

– Educate yourself on social media risks.

– Use tools such as “Screen Time” stats from your mobile device to monitor your use.

To learn more about this topic, you can check out this free audible book: Antisocial Media by Siva Vaidhyanathan. Please note this book is only free for audible members or during your free 30-day trial.